People think sex work is dirty and dangerous because they have been taught to believe that sex is dirty and dangerous.
AND often its because they believe capitalism should never be mixed with sex because sex is “sacred”.
I’ve stopped using this word because of the way it is often weaponized against the carnal. Those who use the word sacred often indicate that certain interactions of sexuality are more elevated than others. Which implies that spirit is more “holy” than body. Thus making body lesser than or subservient to spirit.
I’ve begun referring to this as “spiritual slut shaming” (Instagram straight up removed my viral video on this topic without notice). Spiritual slut shaming happens when spirituality is used to indicate that sex is bad outside of monogamous, spiritual, and/or deep bonds. Aka casual, non-monogamous, or pleasure-centric sex is wrong or lesser than.
After 14 years of Catholic school, i am severely allergic to dogma. Dogma, meaning institutionalized opinions of morality that are considered definitive truths by those doing the considering.
I used to refer to my performances as Sacred Erotic. But I began to steer away from that term when it stopped resonating. In a video from this time last year I explain that when I say sacred I do not mean as opposed to profane, or pornographic. But all too often what is considered profane is equated with issues of discrimination that exist when it comes to class, race, gender, and sexual orientation.
Lately I’ve though that the word sacred is at this point, too bound up in othering to redeem on a wide scale. The word sacred has been used to justify and distinguish “good” from “bad” but it has also been paired with words that have been underappreciated, under served, underestimated as a means of elevation ie: Sacred sexuality, sacred sensuality, sacred feminine.
But is this modifier necessary? Does it really liberate sexuality, sensuality, femininity or does it open a whole new realm of qualifiers and restrictions to fit into? I have seen many leaders in the embodiment and spirituality realms that use these terms also wander dangerously close to or full on immersed in the preaching of dogma that is actually quite similar if not identical to patriarchal religions that keep us in the same paradigm we started in. It is not liberatory to be told how to engage with your sexuality -that on way is more “right” than another way. And by claiming that monogamous, deeply intimate, prolonged partnered, eye gazing sex is the “right” way, we are still existing in the same framework the puritanical, racist patriarchy has decided is good for us.
People think sex work is dangerous because they think female sexuality is dangerous.
It is dangerous. To the status quo. And thats what I aim for.
More thoughts:
Is handing the word ‘sacred’ over and saying that its too far gone the right move? Well the word itself is harmless as most conglomerations of vowels and synonyms are at their core. But the indications attached to this word in our current society make me think twice before using it. Yet, sometimes it does feel like the word I want to use. And it is even a word that was baked into my framework: Arouse the Sacred Erotic. I may return to it at some point and fight for its cleansing. I may let it go. For now I mostly refrain.
How bout you? Comment your thoughts and reflections below and lets discuss!
Further Resources/Reading:
Listen: Pussy Empowered Podcast: Arouse the Sacred Erotic
Read: Excluding Sex Work for Sexual Empowerment as published Girl Talk HQ
Watch: Performance: Sacred Sin live at Pussy Empowered Party